As always, I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. Right? Okay.
So, Vienna was the lucky girl to get the first date with Jake. It was a magical day, full of panic and sweaty palms, and a bit of making out. Vienna seemed to be fairly normal on the date, besides constantly putting the moves on Jake...which is why it kind of surprised me that all the girls have all this hatred towards her. Why don't WE get to see the drama? Why don't WE get to see the gossip? The 'brutal honesty?' I seem to recall Wes having to relive all of the crazy crap he said to the other guys over and over again. So why aren't we allowed to see the 'real' Vienna? Hmmmm. Anyway, she gets a rose, and the girls get all hysterical over it. Come on, have they NEVER seen the Bachelor before? Seriously? Do they think she is out with him gossiping about everyone? Of course not. She has got GAME. I hate the line "If she is his type then I am soooo not." Ugh. Give me a break. Anyway. Vienna's in. I don't love her, but whatever. Until I see proof, I am just as clueless as Jake, I guess. I only saw her crying as she tried to apologize, apparently an empty apology. Again. Why don't we see what happened in the first place? Ugh.
Okay, moving on, the group date was next. The group date was full of laughter, tears, more tears, and some tears. The whole comedy club thing would have put me right over the edge, so I don't blame Ashley for feeling like she wanted to die rather than stand up in front of everyone, but did she really need to be such a baby about it? I mean, seriously, she followed MICHELLE. There could be no better person to follow. Then Corrie really surprised me with her bit about the other women. I guess people thought it was funny- I thought the thing with Vienna was really catty. Just my 2 cents. I am not team Vienna, I promise, I just think, come on, you are as bad as you are saying she is. Elizabeth apparently has the mouth of a sailor, and Tenley can fold herself up like a pretzel! Fun! Anyway, once the horrible, horrible awkwardness that was the comedy club ended, I finally came up for air from under my quilt and got to witness some of the most train-wreck moments I have ever seen. First, when Michelle decides to get all high and mighty with the girls and ends up- surprise!- crying and storming out. This is after Alli has chosen to use a piece of her alone time to warn Jake about what a horrible person Vienna is. Then Tenley chooses to reveal how she was once married and cheated on (so sad!) and....um....did I miss something, or was there no mention of pregnancy anywhere? Nice one, ABC. I watched their conversation twice, so someone tell me if I missed something. Then we see Michelle FINALLY get her oh so romantic make out moment with Jake! Angels were singing in her precious head until Jake DARED to remove his lips from hers. Luckily he called her bluff and sent her packing. Seriously, she is one special kind of nuts. But she's gone now. And that gave the other girls hope. Until he decided to give none of them a rose. BURN.
Finally Jake had his last one on one date with Ella. Now, Ella really rubbed me the wrong way the first night....but tonight...wow. I wanted to throw my arms around her and bawl when her son came running up behind her. Okay, I am not afraid to admit that I cried a little. And you know what? It REALLY made me love Jake how excited he was to surprise her. He was absolutely giddy. I liked it. He was so good with that little boy. Now that he has met her son, I feel like he owes it to her to marry her. Okay, maybe not. Maybe a little. No, no, I like Alli.
(By the way, I had heard through the grapevine that Ella was NOT going to get a rose tonight, so it looks like those spoiler sites aren't always right, people. Take that. )
Okay, so the cocktail party was full of some fabulous drama in itself. Elizabeth got called out for her completely blatant teasing, and she was somehow completely shocked by such an accusation. Um, okay. Really, Elizabeth? Really? She tried to laugh and charm her way through it, but then when she realized that he was actually trying to have an adult conversation with her, she started grasping for straws. Somehow she didn't get that the kiss wasn't what mattered, it was how she was trying to hold something over his head that did. Ohhh Elizabeth. So pretty.
At this point, Vienna has the audacity to steal Jake away so she can, oh, I don't know defend herself against all the crap that every girl has talked about her behind her back to Jake! I love how this ruffles everyone's feathers so badly, but you know what? Just because she has a rose does not mean she can't go try to clear her name after they openly admitted how much they had said about her to Jake. I know, once again, I sound like I am team Vienna, well, it's not HER so much as the situation. Grrrrrrrr.
Finally after a tad more drama, the Rose Ceremony finally arrives. Not a moment too soon for me, I am excited to whittle these numbers down, baby! Sadly, Elizabeth and Valisha (who? huh?) are both let go. You know what, Elizabeth will be fine. She can get a date any day of the week. No need to cry.
I think Gia deserves an award this week for holding herself together when she was (gasp!) not chosen for a date, and for trying to keep the peace and be nice. I like her a lot more now.
I still like Alli, but CHILL OUT sweetheart!
Scenes from next week look juicy. Burning a rose.....not giving out 2 more....what drama will unfold????