Monday, June 8, 2009

The Awkward Turtle swims into the room...

Okay so if you are not hip with the lingo (like I wasn't until the beach trip last week when my younger cousins all enlightened me) whenever there is an awkward moment, you can make a turtle with your hands and swim it into the room. Or, you can place your clawed hand on someone's shoulder to signify the 'awkward squirrel' that is now crouching on their shoulder. Or, you can just do as my sister Katie's friend does and announce that there is diarrhea EVERYWHERE, meaning that the situation is completely and utterly awkward.
The point is, my friends, that there was an ocean of awkward turtles, a million mating awkward squirrels, all under a pile of awkward diarrhea tonight on the Bachelorette. Holy cow. I was literally trying to shake the awkwardness off of my body after it was all said and done. I completely cannot stand confrontation, and that rose ceremony had me in a cold sweat. Holy moly.

So, let's rewind, and begin with Kiptyn's one on one. It was full of cuteness and lovey doveyness, enough to win him a rose and keep him in the running. I do like him a lot (he is my 'pick' after all) but I kind of noticed tonight that he wasn't as good looking as I remembered him. Still cute, but not AS cute. In fact, I noticed that with almost all the guys. Maybe they had bad lighting or something. Anyway, the point is, I am glad he is still in the game.

Jake is really freaking me out. DON'T back down now, Jake!! I am kind of suspicious that he is going to leave next week, hence Jillian's broken heart. They are making it seem like perhaps Wes is the one to go, but I am really thinking it could be Jake.

Mark the Pizza man really scored tonight with his rose. I wonder if she wasn't forced to choose one or the other if she would have kept him around. I am not seeing much chemistry between them. But he seems like a good guy.

Michael the breakdancer is seriously cracking me up. I want her to keep him around just so I can have a good laugh each week. They seem to have NO sparks right now but I do think he is her type, with his dry humor and carefree, easygoing attitude. I like him more and more each week.

Ed is still darling, although he didn't get much face time, I am SO glad he got a rose. I like Ed. Go Ed.

Robbie is seriously buggin. He is like a mini-Dave, only smaller and weaker. He seems like a total bully. I could not believe his little tantrum at the rose ceremony about the one on one time. He could have said that WAY better than he did, it seemed so childish. Ew, he is really rubbing me wrong.

Reid seems like a cool guy after all, he is kind of getting more and more camera time and I am glad. He seems like a genuine guy and hopefully he continues to impress me by being awesome.

Jessie, what the heck is up with your hat, dude? We all wanted to rip it off and toss it overboard. Yeesh. He is SOOOOOOOOOOO much cuter without it.

Tanner P- Wow. Poor guy looked like he was going to hit the floor tonight as all the drama unfolded. I am kind of mad that the guys who egged him on to tattle to Jillian about Wes in the first place (um, Ed and Jake, I think?) acted totally oblivious to the whole thing. They WANTED him to tell, then acted like it was completely unexpected and uncool. I am glad Jillian didn't throw him under the bus.

Wes- I want to barf when I look at Wes. I think he is totally phony and Jillian needs to axe him PRONTO! I wonder how long it is before someone tells her that he is the one with the girlfriend. Maybe Tanner will come clean about it next week.

Adios, Dave and Juan! So glad to see you hit the road! I hope they sent Dave straight to anger management, good gosh. And Juan, well, he simply drove me nuts so I am glad I don't have to listen to him anymore. I should also say goodbye to Mike the baseball camp guy, he seemed nice but I am not broken up by his departure. She will find love elsewhere (cough cough JAKEorEDorKiptyn.)

Although I was sweating buckets after all the drama tonight, I still loved every minute of it. Okay, maybe there were a few points where I literally had to stand up and walk around, but that's what makes this show so addictive. Anyway, I can't wait for next week's drama fest!


CandraWynne said...

You said it all so well :) I was glad that Juan and Dave both left, now if we can just get Wes out of there. I'm glad that Tanner said something to Jullian and did you notice that he did not mention "feet" at all in this episode? It was nice to see a different side of him although he looked VERY suspicious at the rose ceremony when he was telling everyone to stop looking at him. Poor Guy!

Lindsey said...

how could you resist posting about the awkward moment when Dave tried to kiss her?? and pulled up her shirt! oh my gosh, jeff and i were DYING. i seriously had to watch with my hand over my eyes. (and now jeff will watch it, i think mike has made it cool for guys to watch...haha) wish we could've seen it with you guys again, hope you're having a blast in utah!

Wright said...

My thoughts exactly. Dave needs serious counseling. And Juan needs to be the next Bachelor-ette. He is so gay it hurts.

The Williams Family said...

Love it joy! As always...well said. It was so much fun to watch it with you - I was exhausted afterward by the awkwardness also. Blah. What will happen next week?

Alysha said...

We are SO on the same page! What a perfect analysis and I can't wait to read what you have for next week. You are seriously gifted when it comes to the Bachelor/Bachelorette! Go Kyptin, Ed, Reid and Jake!

Alysha said...

Oh, and about the awkwardness-yeah, I was DYING and had to stuff my face in my pillow several times. So bad.

Jennifer H. said...

Joy we are TOTALLY on the same page!!! I am still loving Ed and Jake. They just seem SO real. I really hope that Jake doesn't leave next week. I will be sad.

Wes...ACK!!!!!!! I want to reach through my screen and slap that freakin' smirk off his face. I cannot stand him. Pure slime. He has to go.

OMG Dave was a total perv. Thank goodness she got rid of him. And Juan is no loss at all either.

Tanner still give me the creeps but I am glad Jillian didn't tell everyone what he told her.

Holy awkward Batman. Just watching it gave me a stomach ache!

Weston and Nicole said...

I was watching it with my sister and we were both dying at the awkwardness! As far as next week goes, I kinda have a feeling that the person she "lets go" and is so super sad about it Kiptyn...the only reason I think that is because she was ultra upset about it and Kiptyn is the only guy she get giddy with! HOpe that's not the case though...I hope it's Wes.

Also, as much as I like Jillian, I kind think Jake deserves better...someone "perfect" like him!

Sarah & Trent said...

cute cute pics of the family! Darling as ever.
I was watching the bachelorette thinking about you freaking out too. :) haha!!
Helloooo-- do you know what I think? What's the problem if they have a girl at home they are comparing her to? She's kissing on like 6 of them anyways. They're all just trying to see who they like right?

Kristen said...

Hey, this is Katie's "diarrhea" friend. :) She told me that you had some fabulous comments about the Bachelorette on your blog, so (even though I feel like a blog stalker) I had to check it out. You're hilarious! You have DARLING family too.