Confusion.

Tonight we had a strange experience. We were on our way to go out to dinner when we came to a hault on a very busy street because of a woman in the road. She was quite old, bent over almost in half, and shuffling across the street at a VERY slow pace. Oh, and did I mention she was literally in the middle of traffic? Not at a crosswalk and most definitely not watching for cars. Both sides of traffic were (thankfully) stopped to let her through.

We were pretty concerned, so I hopped out of the car (hey, traffic was stopped anyway, right?) and helped her up to the sidewalk. She was walking towards the mall (completely bent in half, so she was staring at the ground.) but when I asked her if she was going to the mall, she kept saying no. Then she would point towards the mall and say, I am going to that building right there. And then she broke into a few, "Holy spirit of light, be my guide..." rants, and I knew that this woman was pretty confused.

I motioned to Mike to call the police. If you know me, that is pretty much my answer for anything unusual: call 911. So, as Mike called, I walked her over to the TGI Friday's and sat her on a bench. A waitress brought out some water for the woman, and I continued to probe her for information about herself as we waited for the police to arrive.

I asked her who she was. Vivianna.
I asked her if she had children. Jennifer, Jay, and Jonathan.
I asked her what her husband's name was. Larry.
Where is Larry? In the building.
You mean the mall? No. That building right there. (Motions towards the mall.)
Then she broke out into a LONG string of religious jargon. I felt so bad for this woman, so confused, sitting on a bench with a total stranger, drinking whatever this stranger gave her, having NO clue where she was.

The police arrived and they knew her. Apparently she must wander a lot. They immediately asked her where Larry was, and at that moment, as if it were magic, Larry appeared. He was yelling at her for not staying in the car when he was in getting their 'Wendys sandwiches!!!'
The Wendys was across the street from the mall (the busy street she had crossed.) She must have thought she was crossing the parking lot to go to the Wendys. After a moment it became clear that Larry is pretty confused himself.

It was so sad seeing this unfold in front of me. It makes me ill to think that someday I might be as confused as Vivianna. Or worse, that one of my parents will. I know that my grandpa took care of his very confused wife for a long time, and I can't imagine how hard that must have been! I feel so sorry for these people and especially their caretakers. How frustrating it must be to not be able to communicate with someone who was once a completely capable person. UGHHHHHHHH.

Okay, sorry for the downer post but I had to unload this. It was such a wierd, unexpected experience.

A Loss of Innocence.

Tonight I had a little sadness in my heart at bedtime while we were all gathered together on the bed, both girls jumping all over as Mike and I were trying to relax. The girls were pretending to feed us dinner, and Rachel proudly served up some 'pas-ghetti'. Mike informed her that what she was actually giving him was 'spaghetti', to which she very slowly said, "Noooo Dad.... PA-sghetti." He again told her that it is pronounced 'spaghetti.' I was bemused until she turned to me with a somewhat pained expression and asked, "Mom? It's pasghetti, right?" Her sweet innocent concern over the fact that she was SO sure that it was, indeed, pasghetti really broke my heart. It was like revealing the secrets of the tooth fairy or something. She took it pretty well, though. Bless that child.

So, on the topic of innocence, I have been feeling lately like I need to privatize my blog again. I really hated having a private blog, because it was so inconvenient for people to check, especially family members who seemed to have trouble logging onto it. But, I have so much concern over the safety of my children....I don't know that it's right for me to plaster their pictures and stories where any freak in the world could see them.

I have thought of starting another blog, more about me, not really talking about my kids, you know, for bachelor season and such. :) But then I am worried I would feel pressure to be witty or something, and I don't want that.

Thoughts?

It's a Conspiracy!

So, my sister sent this to me, and I had to post it. Seriously, I noticed this last year, but had no way to confirm my suspicions. Thank you BJ Novak for being a cream egg freak! What's Cadbury going to say to THIS? ;)

So Random.

I know this is totally from left field, but oh well. You get to hear it anyway.

Have you ever seen 'Return to Oz'? It's this totally neurotic sequel to 'The Wizard of Oz'. If not, well.....this will probably not make much sense. If you have seen it, then go with me on this:

I was cleaning out all of our loose miscellaneous junk and I found this little happy massager guy I got years ago when I worked at Bath and Body Works.

I found myself looking at him and thinking of this:

Okay, so I told you....very random. I will be back soon with something a little more, um, normal.

Panic and Absolute Hysteria

As many of you know, my number 1 biggest hang up about moving here BY FAR was tornados. Tornados have ALWAYS been my most feared natural disaster...I am an absolute wreck when I even think about them. So, when we were looking at homes here, I insisted on a basement. Cemented. I grilled our realtor about tornado warnings (how often, what months, where do you go if you are not at home, etc.) I made Mike look up statistics about them. Yes, I was a total freak.

Which is why today, when I was sitting here watching the girls play, and I heard a strange noise, I IMMEDIATELY thought it was a tornado siren. My eyes shot to the window and I laughed at myself because it was a gorgeous day outside. But the sound continued. It was strange, and the only way I can really describe it is it was the same noise that a table saw makes when you put a piece of wood in it. That, crossed with a dying cat. It sounded far away, and I thought maybe my microwave or washing machine was going whacky. So I went upstairs, and I could tell it was coming from outside, and getting louder.
I cautiously opened my door (because I was in my bathrobe) and peaked outside. The sound was definitely out there, and it seemed to be rolling accross the town. It progressively got louder and louder until it right upon me. Even though I had never heard them, I knew that it was DEFINITELY the Tornado Sirens.

Confused, I grabbed my phone and called my sister, and then I LOST it. Bawling my head off in a hysterical panic. I think I managed to spit out that the tornado sirens were going off, and she told me to go to the basement. I sobbed for awhile longer and then managed to tell her that there were no tornados, that it was sunny outside. Yes, I sounded like a real lunatic.

But you see, just HEARING the sirens put me into complete panic mode. I have no idea what the heck I would do if they were going off during an actual storm. I think I need to keep a stock of Xanax for this very reason. I am going to have to sedate myself everytime there is a dang tornado warning. Just kill me now!

Oh, and I think I managed to traumatize Rachel pretty well, she is absolutely petrified of the sirens, she thinks they are going to get her. Nice.

I googled and found this siren. It sounds pretty close to the ones I heard today. So if you haven't heard it, take a listen. It's totally creepy sounding.

Oh, and apparently that siren was part of a drill that they do EVERY MONTH. Heaven help me and my fragile nerves.

WPPI Rocks

Time for a post about something other than TV, right?

Lucky you, you get to hear about my amazing time at WPPI! For those of you who have absolutely no clue what WPPI is, let me fill you in. It is the coolest photography convention held yearly in Las Vegas. I had been planning since last year to attend since we lived within driving distance of Vegas...up until we decided to move that week. I was SUPER bummed- until we pushed the move off a week and I decided to go up for 2 days while Mike was off work.

So, I rang my friend Kathy, who is also an awesome photographer (for those of you in AZ, she rocks! Book her now!) and she agreed to brave the 4 hour drive with me and go. Yeah!
We were all set to go when Mike informed me that he not only had to work, he had to leave town. Sweet. So my awesome friend Wendy stepped in and took my girls for me so I could still go. Thank you Wendy! You are the best! (And Ashley, too!)

Kathy and I jetted up to Vegas for the most awesome learnfest ever! We met up with Jean, and some of her awesome friends (Heather, Jennifer, Laurel, Kellee) and we got a rocking group picture with a Chippendales dancer. Well, there must have been a Chippendale's theif running around because that picture mysteriously disappeared! And there were 6 copies!
Oh well. I did get one with Jean:





And of course one with Kathy (which is kind of hideous of me so I turned it to black and white in order to soften the blow. Give us a break, we had been up all night- more on that below).





We perused the amazing trade show (seriously amazing) and went to some awesome workshops, like the Sallees, who were completely unbelievable, and the fabulous AUDREY WOULARD!!!


Yes, we got into Audrey's class! If you are a children's portrait photographer, you are now on your knees crying tears of jealousy. She rocked! We went to her room an hour and a half early to get a seat and barely got them. And I nearly had to fight a lady to hold Jean's seat while she ran to get a drink. Seriously, it was almost a smackdown! The room was filled to standing room only and then the fire marshall came and kicked everyone out who didn't have an actual seat. I was thanking my lucky stars that we skipped dinner to get there early!
Anyway, she had an awesome question and answer hour where she answered EVERY question asked of her. She also showed a full session and talked about how she handles her sessions, how a typical session goes, etc. It was all precious info. I am SO completely glad I went!

After her seminar we were famished so we went to the Buffet. Heck yeah we had to hit at least ONE buffet while we were there! It was so fun chatting with all the girls, and we were so sad we had to get back to Phoenix...we ended up leaving late and getting home at 4 am! YEESH! Completely worth it, though!!

As a side note, WPPI was being held at MGM Grand, but hotel rooms were sold out. Not a problem, we decided to stay right across the street at the glorious TROPICANA!

Let me tell you. We were spoiled there. Not only did we get a gorgeously decorated room,

But we were blessed to have an ALMOST complete picture frame in there!

And I think they left a puke stain by the bed, just for my viewing pleasure.

I opted to skip a shower in their luxuriously footprinted tub,

And decided to conserve water by using their spotless toilet as little as possible.

And look! A friend to keep us company! (I really did throw up in my mouth when I saw this one again.)

We also had a lovely 4 am wake up call by a security guard screaming his guts out in the hallway. It was so thoughtful of them to make sure we didn't miss our first workshop, right? ;)

Seriously, though, it was totally worth staying in that dump to have the awesome trip that we had. I had SO much fun and I cannot wait until next year!

One final(e) recap.

I know that some of our blog readers (ie: my parents) probably wish the suject of Jason Messnick would die, but I have just a few more things to add. I watched Jason, Molly, Chris, and Melissa on Ellen this week, and she asked the hard questions for us (haha.) Here is the info I got:
According to Chris (the host): None of it was set up. Jason told him that he and Melissa were breaking up and he wanted another chance with Molly BEFORE the show even aired...so ABC scrambled to film the first segment of 'After the Rose part 1' so that Jason would be able to tell Molly how he felt (and according to Jason, he was worried that ABC would ask her to be the Bachelorette before he could tell her how he felt.) Chris is mad that his 'integrity is being questioned.'

According to Melissa: She knew things were ending with Jason before the 'After the Rose part 1' aired. She was confused as to why it was taping early and repeatedly asked Jason if it was about Molly, which he denied. When he told her ON THE SHOW, she was angry (hence, calling him a B*******) because he had lied to her about it. She also said that he and Molly HAD been in contact. She said she knew of at least one phone call between them after the show ended but before he broke up with her (melissa).

Then Ellen asked if the emails that had been leaked onto the internet were real...and they ARE!!!
Oh, you haven't read them? Well, here ya go!


—– Original Message —–
From:
To: Jason Mesnick
Sent: Mon Jan 19 08:18:10 2009
So last night didn’t go NEAR how I thought. I didn’t think I would be
that angry (I’m not sure I’ve EVER been that angry to be honest with
you….), but I’m sorry for how heated I got. At the same time though, I’m not. I still can’t believe how you can’t give reasons other than ‘It changed.’
In relationships (especially ones where committments are involved), you FIGHT,you TRY, you COMMUNICATE to make things work. You know as well as I do that you didn’t give 100% to me or the relationship. And I don’t understand how you can walk away from something without giving it your all - but I am walking away knowing I did.
And getting confirmation about Molly in front of people like that was a
complete classless move if you ask me - how could you do that to me
after Irepe atedly asked you about it??? I’m not stupid, I knew about
Molly…knew you guys had been talking….and you lied to me about it. For you to choose to b e with someone who most of the girls in the house didn’t get a long with, and bashed me when she left, then more power to you both. You owed it to me to tell me this before last night…and I can’t believe you did that to me publicly. I can’t even tell you how much respect I lost for you….but it makes this whole process from here on out much easier for me.
Please don’t respond…I really just wanted to apologize for getting so
angry last night - but I hope you understand why I did….
From: “Jason Mesnick”
Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2009 08:52:58 -0800

To:
Subject: Re:
The producers had a lot to do with it. I am so sorry. This is so
horrible


Sent: Monday, January 19, 2009 9:11 AM
To: Jason Mesnick
Subject: Re:
(This coming from the man who told me not to trust producers…..) Then
congratulations on being produced….but I don’t believe you. You are a
grown man, and perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Own your actions and stop blaming this process..

From: “Jason Mesnick”
Sent: Monday, January 19, 2009 01:37 AM
Subject: RE:
I wish we could have had that same conversation away from cameras. You are so right about feeling everything you do. I deserved everything you said.
They really didn’t want me to say anything to you until the cameras were there and you know that I couldn’t do that. I tried and I hate what I
have done to you. You don’t deserve any of it at all. I wish there were more that I could say. Its just things really felt different and I didn’t
want to be thinking about her and wish I could control it. I want to take all of your pain away and put it on me. If you are talking about Karma, I
slipped and fell and had a huge gash in my leg 3 inches wide and to the bone. I deserve so much worse for what I am doing to you. Obviously you know more about me now and you just deserve so much more. I hate that I had to say that to you, and you had to hear that. You do need to heal and if that means never talking to me again or if that means, you getting angry with meas often as you want, I will do it all.
You do not need to give me any reasons for your actions; I think you did
what you had to do.
-J

—–Original Message—–
From
Sent: Wednesday, January 21, 2009 8:24 AM
To: Jason Mesnick
Subject: RE:
I do hope you understand my frustrations then. The fact that even after
‘production’ was wrapped, you still let producers manipulate our
‘relationship’ is frustrating. At what point do you say, “Hey,
guys…youdid your part, and now it’s our turn to have a real relationship without you meddling and telling us what to say and do?” When I look at it that way, I’m thankful I found this out now. And I’ll just say, the Molly thing wasn’t a secret….just wish you’d had the decency to tell me before I was put in front of TV cameras - regardless of what Martin was telling you, as a person, a friend, etc…you owed me that. Especially since you were the one who kept saying you didn’t want any surprises at this thing……ironic, eh? Seeing the person that you became, you are right: a relationship between you and I would never work out - and that’s why I’m thankful this happened sooner rather than later. Unfortunately, you were not the person that I thought you were - and that’s ok….just a little embarrassed I fell for it I guess. I do think it’s a little ironic, though that you kept telling me, “morally, how could I ever get back with DeAnna after what she did to me?” And I agree….just seems like a very similar situation with your new lady…..Just a little irony I guess.
Anyway, I’m not mad…I’m not hurt - seeing how things were handled,helped me get over things very quickly. I do wish you both the best though.
Take care.

I understand everything and I wish more than anything I didn’t let them
get in the way. I handled that part so poorly. It sounds like you are
doing well and am so glad. Just know that I feel so horribly about this.
It is a pain I will live with forever. I will not make any excuses you
are a wonderful person and I am sorry for everything. I do want you to
know that when I proposed to you it was from the heart and wanted to be with you forever.
-J

YOU GO GIRL!! I love Melissa. She has a new man, so we can all stop feeling so bad for her. :)

Jason and Molly were last to come on the show, and once I cleaned my drink that I flung at their faces off of the tv, I was able to see that, yes, they have something to prove. And they are proving it by molesting eachother on TV. Seriously, I do have to admit that I feel VERY bad for Molly, she was worried that they were going to 'boo' her when she came out onstage. Oh Molly, don't be silly! We hate JASON, not you! Anyway, apparently they are planning to live apart for awhile, then maybe she will move to Seattle, and we will see from there. No marriage plans according to them.
Jason did say that he made a huge mistake going on national television to break up with Melissa. YA THINK?

Anyway, again, I appreciate all the comments about this. I love hearing what everyone has to think, and I love hearing the scoops and scandles now that it is over.

I do plan to blog about our new life in Indiana soon....I have been busy unpacking, editing, and trying to get to know our surroundings, that I barely have 5 seconds to google Bachelor gossip! hahaha.